interview game

Here are the official rules of the interview game:

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
6. I will answer reasonable follow up questions if you leave a comment.

Here are my answers; I put them in quotes. Enjoy!

1) Do you have any siblings? If so, how many? If zero, did you like growing up as an only child?

Yes! In fact, I have 5 siblings! I am the second oldest. Here's the excel version breakdown:

First Batch:
Tracy - Older sister, 27
Me - 25
Joelle - Younger sister, 23

Second Batch:
Michael - Younger brother, 16...or 17 now? I'm terrible...
Janice - Youngest sister, 14
Tony - Youngest brother, 12

No, I don't think I'd like to have grown up as an only child......no one to pick on?? no, couldn't have that.

2) Excuse my ignorance, but what is yurting?

Oh oh! Yurting is the best!! Basically, a Yurt is a special tent that is up year round. It has bunk bends, a heater, table & chairs, and a mirror....everything you'd possibly need except for a bathroom. You have to walk to get to the bathroom. (that sucks when you have to do it in the middle of the night and it's raining) But it's so much fun! Yurts allow you to camp in the winter...here's where you can read up on yurting!

3) Your Blogger profile indicates that you are a very busy person! How do you balance everything?

...ya....balance? not really....I don't have much of that in my life. I wish!! I'll get sappy for a minute and say I would be pulling my hair out if it weren't for my hubby....but really, ya, I guess I do have at least some balance....

bottom line: I think it all comes down to making sure I don't forget to take time for myself in the mix of it all. And not just making time for myself but genuinly(sp) enjoying that time and not feeling guilty about it.

I easily feel guilty about things....

4) Mustard or mayonnaise?

depends on what it's on...hotdog: mustard, sandwich: mayonnaise. I don't usually like mustard and mayonnaise together on anything...

5) You seem to have a love for music and the arts. What art form moves you the most?

Let's see, this is a tough one. You are right. I do have a love for music and the arts in general. What moves me the most? I think that'd have to be music. Music really can take you instantly to other worlds, just like that. I really adore music.....it's my drug. Sometimes music can just get right where you are at that moment when you need it.....ya, I'm addicted; an intervention may be in order....

procrastination

ya, so I'm procrastinating BIG TIME!! I have this 3-5 page paper due for my Domestic Violence class where I have to summarize/critique an empirical study.....

it's not that bad, a 3-5 page paper...actually. seeing as i only have one quarter left after this one 'till i get my associates....a 3-5 page paper is damn easy by now! what is my problem!! it's 12:11am....

i should just go to bed already....i'm not getting any work done. who am I trying to kid anyway, lately i always wait until the night before something's due and stay up 'till the wee hours of the night working on it....why do I do that?!?!

ok, for real....i'm going to bed, this is ridiculous procrastination....out of control!

wow, this is bad!

desperation

This song, although written about a dating relationship and not something I've experienced directly, means a lot of different things to me...

If you can, buy the song and listen to it. Maria Mena sings with such emotion that you're transported immediately into another world. A very sad, desperate world. A world that in some form we've all experienced at some time or another. Maybe not in a relationship with a boyfriend like Maria, but maybe in other relationships. At least I know I have....

Vague sound of rain
pierces through my song again
but I get distracted by the way his toes move when he plays
so I let it burn

I just poured my heart out
there's bits of it on the floor
And I take what's left of it and rinse it under cold water
And call him up for more

I've done this before....where I'll take a chance; I'll pour my heart out to someone. Not quite sure if I should. Never quite sure that I've not just made a fool of myself and wondering if I'm the only one on the planet that feels this way. I really must be crazy....and then you jump, you pour it out anyway. Hoping upon hope for the person really to hear you....and then it happens. The person listens but doesn't hear you and your words fall on deaf ears.....it's a terrible feeling. Being open and vulnerable and then having either your feelings trampled on, minimized or any other multitude of responses other than....being really heard and understood. Identified with. Validated.

And I say baby, yes I feel stupid to call you, but I'm lonely
And I don't think you meant it when you said you couldn't love me
And I thought maybe if I kissed the way you do, you'd feel it too

But then again, no matter how hard the drop of your last experience, you try again. Maybe with the same person, maybe with someone else, someone new. Doesn't really matter, you're trying again and you feel stupid again for exposing your feelings and your confused as to why you can't connect.....It's like this incessant need to connect, to feel whole, to have someone validate you and make you whole.

He said I'm sorry
so sorry
I'm sorry
so sorry

He grabs my wrists
as my fingers turn into angry fists
and I wisper why can't you love me, I'll change for you
I'll play the part

It's quite a mystery to me why I try and change for people. I really do. Of course I don't like to admit it but it's the truth. I'm a chameleon.

He said I'm sorry
so sorry
I'm sorry
I am sorry

Why is it that people need to feel validated by other people in order to feel complete, whole and a normal person? I love Don Miller's explanation of it in his book "Searching for God Knows What." Chapter 7 entitled "Adam, Eve, and the Alien: How the Fall Makes You Feel," really sheds light on this for me. Actually the entire books speaks on this issue.

I don't know why but it was such a big deal for me when I realized that the desperation we feel, particularly for me in regards to this song, is due to The Fall in the Garden of Eden. It's due to our separation from God. It's a hole that only God can fill. He made us to be relational people.....that is why we crave human connection, understanding, validation. That's why we are desperate to change when we don't "fit in." Because we feel we need to be connected. God created other people partly for this reason but he also had more for us. This "more" was a relationship with Him. We will never be truly whole with the validation of others. It means nothing. It's the validation of Christ that will make us whole. A relationship with Christ.

The desperation that speaks to me so much in this song is a byproduct of my broken self...separated from God.

not perfect; but free

This is how I felt growing up.....

Sometimes is never quite enough
If you're flawless, then you'll win my love
Don't forget to win first place
Don't forget to keep that smile on your face

Be a good boy
Try a little harder
You've got to measure up
And make me prouder

How long before you screw it up
How many times do I have to tell you to hurry up
With everything I do for you
The least you can do is keep quiet

Be a good girl
You've gotta try a little harder
That simply wasn't good enough
To make us proud

I'll live through you
I'll make you what I never was
If you're the best, then maybe so am I
Compared to him compared to her
I'm doing this for your own damn good
You'll make up for what I blew
What's the problem...why are you crying

Be a good boy
Push a little farther now
That wasn't fast enough
To make us happy
We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect
Alanis Morissette

But this is how I choose to feel now that I've learned to trust Him in everything.....he has a plan and it doesn't matter if I know what it is or not. There is a reason for everything and there is freedom in that. I'm "Free from worry, free from envy and denial, free to live, free to give and free to smile." There is incredible freedom to be had when you learn that your experiences in life don't have to get you down and this song is a testament of that fact for me. I play it whenever I need encouragement.

Turning molehills into mountains
Making big deals out of small ones
Bearing gifts as if they’re burdens
This is how it’s been

Fear of coming out of my shell
Too many things I can’t do too well
Afraid I’ll try real hard, and I’ll fail
This is how it’s been

Till the day you pounded on my heart’s door
And you shouted joyfully
“You’re not a slave anymore.”

You’re free to dance
Forget about your two left feet
And you’re free to sing
Even joyful noise is music to me
And you’re free to love
Cause I’ve given you my love and it’s made you free
I have set you free

My mind finds hard to believe
That you'd become humanity
And change the course of history
Because you loved me so
And my heart cannot understand
Why you’d accept me as I am
But you say you’ve always had a plan
And that’s all I need to know
So when I am consumed by what the world will say
It’s then you’re singing to me
As you remove my chains

Free from worry
Free from envy and denial
Free to live
Free to give
Free to smile
Ginny Owens

dna

so...as I was sitting in my human genetics class this morning, i found something that was worth pondering.......something that made sence(sp) to me. (i got an "A" in Engl 101 AND 102, i swear!) i think i have A.D.D...
ANYWAY! ....

what caught my attention in class was the way my teacher was explaining DNA replication. a brief overview into the process of DNA replication is that RNA, which are copies of DNA sequences, are used to copy DNA sequences in order to create new DNA structures. yes, it sounds complicated but actually you wouldn't know it given the teaching style my teacher uses to explain it. his style is what caught my attention and initiated this post.

while explaining the replication process that RNA uses, he used an analogy:
"The genetic language used to replicate DNA is very similar to the english language used to communicate information."

i was hooked. my curiosity was peaked and wouldn't you know it, i was actually anxious to learn for once, which is suprising, given that i can't stand school any longer and i just want to be done, finished, bye-bye, no school, no homework....

as i was saying....the point of all that was....i was hooked.

my teacher then preceeded to point out a few things in the genetic replication "language" that had similarities to the english language. for example, in the english language capital letters denote the beginning of a sentence, (i'm trying to be a rebell at this point in my life or i'm trying to be cool, who knows but i'm obviously defying that rule!)........[A.D.D]......periods denote the end of a sentence, letters make up words and certain combinations and numbers of letters make up specific words.

this is also true with the genetic language of DNA replication that happens with RNA. (constant reiteration of what i'm learning helps to store the information in my brain's permanent storage facility. :) )

it just so happens that in the genetic language, the "AUG" combination (in that order) is what acts as the capital letter, a sequence of 100-150 adenines is what acts as the period, and the only words in the genetic language are three letter words. (man, that's one brutal language!) also, the genetic language is "read" from left to right, always going from 5' to 3'. (this means nothing to most of you unless you've taken genetics but again, reiteration is good for me.)

so, in getting to my main point.....the question i found myself asking was, "why is it so easy for me to understand human genetics, yet i cannot understand chemistry for the life of me!??" i've failed chemistry twice. i do not get it. my brain is protesting the learning of chemistry.

after pondering that question, i decided it was because my genetics teacher understands and uses the power of analogy. now, i realize that there are some people who can learn without analogies, but EVERYONE nevertheless, can understand analogy. at least it would seem like everyone could, if the right analogy was used.

then it hit me. Jesus used a TON of analogies when he was teaching. it just dawned on me that Jesus was using a teaching strategy that would/could relate to EVERYONE......not just those who could learn simply through reading/hearing it. in the use of analogies, the topic that i'm trying to learn is put in tangible form for me to absorb it's meaning.

then i wondered if it might have been a little harder for the teachers of The Law to understand what Jesus was trying to teach them because they ONLY knew how to learn through reading. they spent ALL their time focusing on The Law, it wasn't understood by them in a tangible form for them to absorb it's deeper meaning.

i think Jesus struggled to communicate to everyone in a tangible way, but for those who ONLY understood and learned through reading and who didn't understand analogies, were somewhat at a loss to understand fully what Jesus was trying to communicate. i think this is why Jesus tried to make it especially clear to the teachers of The Law NOT to focus ONLY on the laws but to focus on the relationship because THAT is where the deeper meaning comes into play. THAT is where God calls us to follow Him....and THAT is what God calls us to DO.....have a relationship with Him. get to know Him on a deeper level....that there is a deeper meaning to it all.

on a personal note (as if that wasn't personal enough) i've been feeling guilty lately about not spending enough time reading the Bible and spending a quiet time with God.....but, i feel like this epiphany today was God trying to communicate to me. trying to tell me that i shouldn't be feeling guilty about not spending time in the word but that i should feel compelled on a deeper level to absorb Him and to use the Bible as a resource, just like I would a textbook. i also feel like He's telling me that the Bible is not the only place he can speak to me. this class epiphany was a classic example of the many ways He can speak.

that said. i'm starving and need to go eat since i've skipped lunch to write this post. i'm A.D.D. so i needed to write it all out before i forgot or lost motivation! :) over-n-out

meet nate

this is my hubby nate. he is cool. i like him. i like him alot. check out his nerdy site.

funny

I found this from another blog that I've been checking and reading for about a week now....it's great!