after all

I feel like I wrote this song myself...although I never could have written it as eloquently as Dar...

Go ahead, push your luck
Find out how much love the world can hold
Once upon a time I had control
And reined my soul in tight

Well the whole truth
Is like the story of a wave unfurled
But I held the evil of the world
So I stopped the tide
Froze it up from inside

And it felt like a winter machine
That you go through and then
You catch your breath and winter starts again
And everyone else is spring bound

And when I chose to live
There was no joy, it's just a line I crossed
It wasn't worth the pain my death would cost
So I was not lost or found

And if I was to sleep
I knew my family had more truth to tell
And so I traveled down a whispering well
To know myself through them

Growing up, my mom had a room full of books
And hid away in there
Her father raging down a spiral stair
Till he found someone
Most days his son

And sometimes I think
My father, too, was a refugee
I know they tried to keep their pain from me
They could not see what it was for

But now I'm sleeping fine
Sometimes the truth is like a second chance
I am the daughter of a great romance
And they are the children of the war

Well the sun rose with so many colors
It nearly broke my heart
And worked me over like a work of art
And I was a part of all that

So go ahead, push your luck
Say what it is you've got to say to me
We will push on into that mystery
And it'll push right back
And there are worse things than that

'Cause for every price
And every penance that I could think of
It's better to have fallen in love
Than never to have fallen at all

'Cause when you live in a world
Well it gets in to who you thought you'd be
And now I laugh at how the world changed me
I think life chose me after all

music

yes, i'm a hopeless romantic. and yes, i'll admitt, i do own this album. this might be surprising to some of you, but for those of you who know me well, you know me as a "radio slut." or at least that's what my husband calls me.

a "radio slut" as defined by my husband is someone who "only listens to the crap that the radio plays." in response to this i call him a "music snob." A "music snob" as defined by me is someone who has a very limited idea of what "good" music is.

there are many avenues to finding good music. the radio just happens to be one of my avenues. i will not deny that my husband has good taste in music, but i do deny the idea that you can't find good music through the radio.

case and point: The Beatles...........i rest my case.

so, needless to say, due to being called a "radio slut" many songs i like have been put on my music list of "guilty pleasures." celine dion is one of them. at least this song, on this album.

background: i heard this song for the first time in highschool. i think it came out either my junior or senior year. i fell in love with it immediately. this was when i encountered my first "music snob." it was my high school American Sign Language teacher.

i was an "A" student up until my final signing project where i had to stand up in front of the entire class and sign continuously for 3-5 minutes. i was, what you call, "the teacher's pet." however, i managed to tarnish that role due to my choice in music.

ya, you guessed it, i signed this song.......and to my shagrin, so did 5 or more other young, giddy, romantical, highschool girls in the class. i'm sure more than my song choice went into determining my final grade on that project; however, i knew i had chosen the wrong song when i got a great big sigh and subsequent, eyes to the ground, slow, disappointed head shake from my teacher upon my announcement of the song I would be signing. i think he had high hopes that i would go on and become some great interpreter (which was my career goal at the time) and he could forever see himself as the one that contributed to my "interpreter greatness." all his hopes were unfortunately dashed to the ground and destroyed the minute i chose the "in" pop song at the time. oh the potential..... :)

when i think back to that moment, i see myself signing like pedro in napoleon dynamite............ya, like a dork.

you think i'd have learned and immediately ceased liking the song but no. today i still like it and here it is, lyrics and all.

And in your eyes I see ribbons of color
I see us inside of each other
I feel my unconscious merge with yours
And I hear a voice say, "What's his is hers"

I'm falling into you
This dream could come true
And it feels so good falling into you

I was afraid to let you in here
Now I have learned love can't be made in fear
The walls begin to tumble down
And I can't even see the ground

I'm falling into you
This dream could come true
And it feels so good falling into you

Falling like a leaf, falling like a star
Finding a belief, falling where you are

Catch me, don't let me drop!
Love me, don't ever stop!

So close your eyes and let me kiss you
And while you sleep I will miss you

I'm falling into you
This dream could come true
And it feels so good falling into you

Falling like a leaf, falling like a star
Finding a belief, falling where you are

Falling into you

don't worry, there'll be more postings in the future from my "guilty pleasure" music list but i don't want to overwhelm you all right now so i'll give you a breather.

so, are you a "music snob" or a "radio slut" and if you're a "radio slut" (like me apparently) what are some from your music "guilty pleasures" list? i know i'm not the only one....don't even try and deny it.

mountain go boom

Mt. St. Helens exploded today.....you can read up on it here.

It's funny, the eruption of St. Helens today.....it's analogous, somewhat of what happened in my life yesterday. I was pretty much blown away by the news I received only 10-15 minutes upon my stepping foot inside my place of work. My position has been eliminated......

I'll spare you all the details.....and ya, the official reason was due to budget cuts but, let's just say, in all honesty, the phrase, "get rid of the evidence" comes to mind when I try and come up with real reasons for why "my position" was terminated.

"..do the right thing...be the bigger person...do what you know is right..." comes to mind as something that my parents instilled in me well growing up. However, this is about the third major event in my life that has had negative consequences for me personally as a result of "doing the right thing." Honestly? This is getting old.

And to add insult to injury, i've only gotten into these kinds of situations with people who are supposed to know better, and who I trust (or did anyway) to make healthy choices.

finger painting

i love this....

"[...] So my sin is smeared all over, but Christ is an artist too, and we often forget this. This is why I love my painting. Christ's blood and forgiveness is smeared over the top of it all. Christ is the only one who really knows what I've painted, but if you ever wonder what my work is like, go to his house, it'll be proudly hung on the fridge. And if you look up from your own painting long enough and take me in with an open mind, you may even find me beautiful too."~Sarah

don miller

...so i went to hear don speak at Pacific University Wednesday.....

i had heard through the grapevine that he wasn't a very good speaker. i thought to myself when i heard this, "well duh, he's a writer, not a speaker..." but i was pleasantly surprised by his lecture.....if you ever have a chance to hear him speak i highly recommend it!

this was just what i needed too because he put into words (his own) again what i was talking about in one of my previous posts.

i really can't wait to read more of his books....