captivating

ok, so there is no part two to "boys-n-crushes" after all.....there was gonna be. but i got distracted. i was going to tell about how i was crushing on some other boy all the while blair was crushing on me and the irony of that. and i was going to post some of my own personal diary entries on the topic just to balance out the embarrassing musings of blair....but no one really wants to hear about that anyway, right? right. i thought so. ;-)

so here's what i got distracted by. here's some history first: so lately i've been looking for a good, christian book to help me figure out what it means to be a woman. and not just any woman, but a christian woman. a book that would help me separate the cultural messages from the "god" messages. frankly, i don't want to hear about who the american culture tells me i need to be as a woman because i've listened to those all my life and all they end up telling me is that i don't measure up. that i'm not pretty enough, that i'm too pretty, that i'm not independent enough, that i'm too independent, that motherhood is the best, that motherhood holds you back, and on and on and on....conflicting messages.

but when i look towards "christian" books for an answer, all I get in response is that i talk too much, feel too much, cry too much, dream too much, have too many opinions, don't "serve" enough and never "stay in my place."

can't i be assertive without being labeled a bitch? can't i be nice without being labeled a pushover? can't i agree with the core ideals of the feminist movement without being labeled a femi-nazi or man-hater? can't i enjoy aspects of my femininity without being stereotyped into a category of women who like tea parties? (more power to women who love tea parties - they're just not for me!) can't i be respectful of my husbands wishes and allow him to lead without whispers behind my back saying i must be "one of those submissive house-wives who let's her husband tell her who she should be...." it's all a bunch of crap. and it's coming at me from all sides and every direction. i'm covered in crap here! i'm tired of all the BS! where is the happy-medium?

this is what brought me to the bookstore the other day. after wading through a bunch of "christian" books on a "woman's role" i found this one. "Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul" by John and Stasi Eldredge. the title alone grabbed me, so I read the introduction:

Now we are on holy ground.
Writing a book for men (Wild at Heart) was a fairly straightforward proposition. Not that men are simpletons. But they are the less complicated of the two genders trying to navigate love and life together. Both men and women know this to be true. The mystery of the feminine heart was meant to be a good thing, by the way. A source of joy. Yet it has become a source of shame--women almost universally feel that they are "too much" and "not what they should be." And men tend to pull away from the deeper waters of a woman's soul, unsure of what they will find there or how to handle it. And so we have missed the treasure that is the heart of a woman, missed the richness femininity was meant to bring to our lives, missed the way it speaks to us of the heart of God.

Rest assured--this is not a book about all the things you are failing to do as a woman. We're tired of those books. As a new Christian, the first book I (Stasi) picked up to read on godly femininity I threw across the room. I never picked it up again. In the twenty-five years since, I have only read a few I could wholeheartedly recommend. The rest drive me crazy. Their messages to women make me feel as though, "You are not the woman you ought to be--but if you do the following ten things, you can make the grade." They are, by and large, soul-killing. But femininity cannot be prescribed in a formula.

We have women friends who love tea parties and china, and friends who break out in hives at the thought of them. We have women friends who love to hunt, bow hunt even. Women who love to entertain and women who don't. Women who are professors, moms, doctors, nurses, missionaries, dentists, homemakers, therapists, chefs, artists, poets, rock climbers, triathletes, secretaries, salespeople, and social workers. Beautiful women, all.

So--is a true woman Cinderella or Joan of Arc? Mary Magdalene or Oprah? How do we recover essential femininity without falling into stereotypes, or worse, ushering in more pressure and shame upon our readers? That is the last thing a woman needs. And yet, there is an essence that God has given to every woman. We share something deep and true, down in our hearts. So we venture into this exploration of femininity by way of the heart. What is at the core of a woman's heart? What are her desires? What did we long for as little girls? What do we still long for as women? And, how does a woman begin to be healed from the wounds and tragedies of her life?

Sometime between the dreams of your youth and yesterday, something precious has been lost. And that treasure is your heart, your priceless feminine heart. God has set within you a femininity that is powerful and tender, fierce and alluring. No doubt it has been misunderstood. Surely it has been assaulted. But it is there, your true heart, and it is worth recovering. You are captivating.

So we invite you to take a journey with us, a journey of discovery and healing. For your heart is the prize of God's Kingdom, and Jesus has come to win you back for himself--all of you. We pray that God will use this book in your life, in your heart, to bring healing, restoration, joy, and life! And if God does that, it will be cause for a wonderful celebration. With teacups and china. Or paper plates. Whatever. One day, we will all celebrate together. In anticipation and hope, may this little book draw you closer to God's heart--and your own.

wow. how refreshing - i am so reading this book! and i'm telling all my girlfriends about it! this is what i've been waiting for. i can't wait to dig in!